FMA: Thank you for having me today, I am very excited to be cooking with you. So Ryke and Daisy, I understand you wanted to make a healthy snack, something that you could both enjoy? One for you, Ryke which is energizing and high in protein, and you Daisy, something that is good and chocolatey, am I correct?
DAISY: This sounds like our soul mate food *smiles wide*
RYKE: *tosses a walnut at her face*
DAISY: *mock gasps* Our soul mate food is already jumping ship.
FMA: I have an apron, mat and a towel for the both of you. Oh, I assume everyone has washed their hands, if not, now is the time to do so.
RYKE & DAISY: *wash their hands at the same time using the same sink. Ryke squirts soap on her palms for her, and he lets her rinse her soap off first*
FMA: Here is our recipe —— Healthy Brownie Granola Bars.
DAISY: *whispers to Ryke* Special brownies.
RYKE: Not that fucking kind of brownie, Calloway. *hugs her to his side*
FMA: The first thing in cooking and arguably one of the most important things, is Mise en place. Does either of you know what that means?
DAISY: It sounds very exciting. *looks at Ryke* Do you know?
RYKE: It’s French.
FMA: Yes, it is French, Ryke 🙂 Daisy, in simple terms it means, “to put in place”. This is what all great cooks and chefs do. Let’s start by measuring out all of our ingredients and putting them in the bowls that I have here. Here are the measuring cups. *hands to Ryke and Daisy* When baking being precise is important.
RYKE: *glances at the floor* Fuck. (*Daisy dropped a cup of rolled oats*). Don’t worry about it, Dais. *sweeps it in a pile with his foot*
FMA: *reaches for extra oats*
DAISY: *reads directions* I don’t think we have more oats. Maybe we can add more cocoa in place of it? *reaches for the cocoa*
RYKE: Just because you add more fucking cocoa doesn’t mean it’ll taste better.
DAISY: Maybe we should test that theory. *wiggles brows*
FMA: *quickly puts extra oats back*
RYKE: *steals her hair tie, and her brown hair falls out of its bun*
DAISY: *smiling, they both turn back for more instructions*
FMA: Okay now that we have everything measured and our Mise en place, we can start!
DAISY: *rocks on her feet* Fun stuff, here we come.
FMA: On the recipe you will notice I told you to “toast your oats and nuts”, I have already done this for you to save us some time today. As you can see the oats and nuts I am holding up are light in color, the ones on your table are darker. That is the color you will aim for when you toast them in the oven. Be careful not to burn your nuts, they become bitter.
DAISY: I don’t know. I like eating nuts, but I prefer my nuts have a bitter taste. *tries to contain a smile* What about you, Ryke? Do you prefer bitter nuts?
DAISY: So I shouldn’t burn your nuts then?
RYKE: *raises brows at her* Definitely fucking not. *tosses another walnut at her face*
DAISY: I’ve discovered something.
RYKE: What’s that?
DAISY: You like to play with your nuts.
RYKE: *shoves her arm playfully*
FMA: Next, put the walnuts in this food processors. You will process your nuts until they are finely chopped, into a loose meal, almost like a powder. Then dump them back into their bowl.
DAISY: Hallelujah, we have powdery nuts.
FMA: *smiles* Now put the dates into the food processor, process until they are in small pieces. They will roll into a ball when ready. This will be sticky.
DAISY: Sticky things are my favorite.
RYKE: *concentrates on putting the dates in the food processor* That line get you a lot of fucking dates, Calloway?
DAISY: I’m working on it.
RYKE: *almost smiles*
FMA: *tries not to giggle* Put the walnut meal and cocoa into the food processor with your dates and process until combined.
For this next part Ryke and Daisy, which one of you wants to work the burner, melting the honey and peanut butter, and which wants to mix all of the other ingredients …hint you get to use your hands in the mixing.
RYKE: Since she likes sticky fucking things, Dais can mix.
DAISY: This may be my calling. Watch out ladies and gents.
RYKE: *turns on the burner with an actual smile appearing*
FMA: Ok Ryke, with the stove on medium heat, pour your honey and peanut butter into the skillet, stirring to combine. You want this mixture to be pourable – it will still look thick, but it will be loose and pourable. This will take about 2-3 minutes. Make sure you stir it to keep it from burning.
DAISY: *hugs Ryke around the waist while he stirs*
RYKE: *turns his head over his shoulder some, so he can kiss her*
FMA: Daisy, pour the walnut and cocoa mixture to the large mixing bowl and add your oats and nuts and combine. You can use a spoon, however, don’t be afraid to your hands to really incorporate the mixture well. So get in there, don’t be afraid to get dirty.
DAISY: *mixing with her hands* Definitely not afraid of being dirty.
RYKE: *leans against the counter and watches her for a second* *dips finger in the mixture and swipes it along her cheek*
DAISY: *smiles so much* If you keep fingering my mixture, we’ll never finish.
RYKE: *kisses her lightly on the lips, just once* You’ll fucking finish.
FMA: *falls in love with them all over again* Ryke, I see the peanut butter and honey mixture is ready, so go ahead and pour it into the oats and nuts mixture. Daisy, again you can either use a wooden spoon, or I find placing a plastic bag over your hands – this helps with heat and sticky factor – and using your hands is easier.
RYKE: *watches her struggle* Need help, sweetheart?
DAISY: *scoots over so he can help mix up everything with her, and he’s quick by her side*
FMA: Well done, you two! *smiles with pride* Here is a 9×13 dish and parchment paper, just tear off a good length that will cover the dish. Into that, dump your mixture, using only about 3/4 of the dish. You want your bars to be thick. Now press down to make the mixture firm and compact.
Freeze for 15-20 minutes to harden.
DAISY: That’s an awful long time.
RYKE: *smiles again* You’re killing me, Calloway.
FMA: I already have some made for you to try while yours are getting hard.
RYKE: Better savor this one, Dais, because ours isn’t going to taste fucking right.
DAISY: Maybe not, but ours has spirit, don’t you think? *her eyes smile at him*
RYKE: *hooks arm around her waist and kisses the top of her head.*
FMA: *swoons* Ryke and Daisy thank you again, you two have been a joy! This has definitely been my favorite cooking class EVER. I just hope this is the first of many cooking classes that we can get together.
DAISY: Thanks for teaching us!
RYKE: It was fucking fun.